Pretty tired after a long day of working but I don’t feel ready for bed just yet. I should be asleep because I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow and a long drive home later tomorrow night. Then on Wednesday I have a handful of appointments to get to. And here I thought I was going to get a nice relaxing break from the school semester, haha!
It’s been a very busy time these past few months.
My mother has been through two major surgeries since her cancer diagnosis. They removed about 30 lymph nodes after the first initial one (which came back positive with Melanoma) and they ALL came back negative. It was a shock, we weren’t expecting such fantastic news when I had driven her back to Loyola to get to the drainage tubes taken out.
It’s been a daily routine (I’m not fond of routine and am more productive with change) of being my mom’s nurse. The days comprise of constant questioning of how she’s feeling, if she’s okay, if she’s comfortable, and if there’s anything she needs me to do for her. I’ve become extremely protective of her, and when someone stares stupidly at the very large surgical scarring on her face, I tense up feeling the need to defend her.
The medication she’s been placed on, the number of different medications I suppose, were grueling, at first, to remember which med, how much of the med, and what times the med is to be taken. She was placed on insulin 3 days before her surgeries in an attempt to get her rocketing blood sugar down, and before every meal we do the routine of two injections and one injection at night before bed. That’s 7 shots a day total.
She told me on Mother’s Day that I was a good kid for doing all that I’ve done for her. I then made the comment, “What am I supposed to do? Not take care of you?”
She told me that it’s not necessarily the idea that the child will take care of the parent, but that the parent takes care of the child.
My mother has always been there for me. Through my depression, OCD, Bipolar, mental health issues, she has been there every day for me even if she wasn’t right by my side. She has always been there for me, and I will always be there for her.
On the whole of this serious event, we as a family and individually, have become stronger.
So here’s a bit of advice for any who want to listen:
If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life, small or large, keep this in mind as it has helped me through the past few months.
“Expect the worst. Hope for the best. And take what comes.”
Don’t just read it. Absorb it. Think about what it will mean to you. The skin of it’s meaning may seem blatant, but I encourage you to digest it and apply this meaning to your life and become a stronger person in the end of what ever turmoil you’re going through.
Never give up, even when you’re on your knees and the rain is pouring down over your eyes. Push with all your might to stand up above the storm and NEVER give up. You deserve to fight. You deserve happiness. You deserve to win.